I recently had the wonderful opportunity to be part of the Carroll County Chamber of Commerce “fly-in” delegation to Washington D.C. It was a group of community leaders and government relations representatives from some of our most important industry and education partners, and I had a Dolly Parton moment: just a little girl from nothing and nowhere in a town where the world gets changed with the people who change it. We met with the US Small Business Association, the US Chamber of Commerce, and Congressman Brian Jack.
We also go to bowl in the White House! AND, the Second Lady passed us in the hallway with their new baby strapped to her chest. That baby looked me straight in the face! It was a surreal moment!
I returned home to my family full of ideas and inspiration. And to two VERY jealous children. We went the following weekend to see “Hamilton” for not-the-first time, and now, I am ready to start a revolution!
I am describing a very “first world” life that I could not have even dreamed of as a child. (Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Ephesians 3:20)
Then my 15-year-old daughter casually drops this on me in the car during our afternoon “mom taxi” time: “We had the best conversation at lunch today about abortion, gay rights, and Middle Eastern religion.” SAY WHAT?! I responded, “That’s pretty heavy hitting stuff for a lunch period.” She sort of laughed and said, “Yeah, and everybody has really different thoughts and ideas, but it was such a great conversation.”
First of all, only in America can high school children sit at a lunch table and freely talk about such hot button topics.
Secondly, wow. I am so thankful she has friends who care about and openly talk about their thoughts, ideas, and opinions on such significant topics that have torn at our world for decades.
The only appropriate response I could muster was, “Tell me more about your conversation.” And for the next half hour, I listened. I never shared my opinions, I never rolled my eyes or redirected. I tried my best not to interrupt, but I did have some follow up and clarifying questions, which she graciously answered. And let me tell y’all something: I have more hope for the future of this country than ever before!
She said a friend asked her as the bell rang, “Ada, what do you think about socialism?”, and I was so proud when she told me her answer was, “I’m really not educated enough on that to respond or discuss it, but if you’ll give me a little time to research and learn, I’d love to talk to you about it another day.”
The conversations were civil, polite, and NOT at ALL of the same opinions. The differences of opinions were discussed with questions and comments like “Why do you feel that way?” and “Explain what you mean when you say ‘_____)’”. No judgment. No fighting. No back biting. Just a true sharing of ideas that led to the expansion of knowledge and the opening of hearts and minds.
All of these events and conversations happened within the span of one week, and I think Lin Manuel Miranda was onto something when he wrote lines that include “talk less, smile more” and the song titled “The Room Where It Happens”. Ultimately, these productions implore us to listen more than we speak, and to recognize that more can happen in a face to face discussion than can ever be achieved via email, letter writing, text messaging, or even phone calls. In an AI-crazy world, human connection and communication cannot be replaced.
Here are my takeaways:
- I have a completely renewed hope for our future! If you want to feel refreshed and encouraged about what is to come, seriously, listen when teenagers talk about heavy topics. Their processes are kind, open-minded, value-based, principle-driven, and rooted in the hopeful optimism of youth. (But Jesus said, “Let the children come to me. Don’t stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.” Matthew 19:14)
- SO MUCH MORE can be accomplished if you do more listening than talking. (Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. -James 1: 19; Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him. Proverbs 29: 20)
- Human connection, being in the same room, eye contact, engagement, vulnerability, open communication, curiosity, concern for the well-being of all, truly caring for another person while trusting Jesus with the outcome: THIS is how we change the world for the better. And it starts and ends right inside your own four walls. (And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another. Hebrews 10: 24-25)
- Good will never come from self-interest, self-promotion, or self-indulgence. Only through loving God and loving others as we love ourselves will we make progress towards a better life for all. We have been given the grace of free will; we cannot force or legislate others into believing as we believe. But we CAN listen, love, share, fellowship, and break bread. (So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor. For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building. 1 Corinthians 3: 6-9)
So, I encourage you today to ask someone a question and let your only response be, “Tell me more about that.” Pray to lead and respond with love. I think you’ll find more commonality and community than you could ever predict. Jesus loves us all equally. Let’s try and do the same.
I obviously cannot close without using Memaw’s words: “Jesus loves you and so do I.”
Let’s talk more about that soon!
Dr. Allison Key
