It is one of the greatest honors to be asked to play the piano or to speak at someone’s funeral. I have this honor several times per year it seems lately. If we are being honest, it is challenging and not something anyone looks forward to doing, but I will also add that the honor of being asked far outweighs the heaviness of the task.
Someone lives their entire life and we take only a few hours to “formally” celebrate or commemorate it. It is the desire of all who participate in the funeral services, I would assume, that the music and words be meaningful, reflective of the person, and bring comfort to the grieving.
But again, let’s be honest.
People are messy. All people, including myself, have lived lives full of ups and downs, regrets and heartaches, pride and laughter, tears of both joy and sorrow. Mistakes have been made, hurt has been dished out and tasted, and ultimately, pain is part of the beauty of a life well lived. All people also have moments of true grit and grace, humor and wisdom, generosity and kindness beyond what is deserved. It is hard to sum up the meaning of one individual’s life in a twenty minute eulogy.
One of the hardest but most meaningful places to sit during a funeral is on the piano bench. Yes, the honor is all mine when I have been asked to play for someone’s life celebration service, but it is also perhaps the only seat in the house where you can quietly observe all the emotions of the loved ones left behind.
From the piano bench I have seen tears of regret, of words unspoken, of the questions left unanswered. I have seen the strain of “could I have done something different” written across faces as plainly as if someone used a sharpie to write it on their forehead. I have seen the serene peace of knowing a loved one is no longer suffering and that eternity is a little sweeter now. Sweet memories shared from the highlight reel of one’s life leave bittersweet smiles on the faces of loved ones, and stories of lives changed for the better because of their impact leave tears of pride welling in their eyes.
But perhaps my favorite emotion to witness from the piano bench is the laughter shared throughout the congregation when the stories of mischief, hilarity, and lightheadedness are shared. I believe we sincerely take life and ourselves too seriously these days. Social media has created a hateful bunch of keyboard cowboys who are ripe for stirring anger. But when you unplug and walk outside, you see that life really is beautiful and most things “ain’t that deep”. ( Thank you for changing my life with one phrase, Porsha!)
Here are just a few Bible verses that prove God wants us to laugh–laughter is, after all, the best medicine!
A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
He will yet fill your mouth with laughter, and your lips with shouting.
Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.”
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
“Blessed are you who are hungry now, for you shall be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh.”
Is anyone among you suffering? Let him pray. Is anyone cheerful? Let him sing praise.
All the days of the afflicted are evil, but the cheerful of heart has a continual feast.
When we grieve, laughter reminds us that our loved ones never really leave us. A legacy of fun is one that lasts for generations to come.
“A little nonsense now and then is cherished by the wisest men.” – Roald Dahl
“Well-behaved women seldom make history.” – Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
As you continue on your life’s journey, never forget that it is OK to have a little fun everyday, and if you have to make it yourself, so be it. May your laughter never cease and may merry mischief stir your heart everyday!
Jesus loves you and so do I!
Dr. Allison Key
